Defining Resilience Series: Step 6 – Find a Guiding Hand to Hold

Defining Resilience


Step 6: Find a Guiding Hand to Hold

Before diving into step 6, a reminder about resilience: it is defined as the ability to overcome adverse conditions; with healthy bonding relationships, guidance, support, and compassion as the catalysts. Basically, it entails having the capacity to bounce back from stressful or overwhelming experiences.

What are some steps we can take to ensure we are building resilience in our lives?

  1. Focus on the positives. 
  2. Seek out and nurture supportive relationships.
  3. Utilize self-care strategies. 
  4. Take action steps to create positive change.
  5. Work on healthy habit formation. 
  6. Find a guiding hand to hold.
  7. Learn to become our own hero. 
  8. Be gentle with ourselves.

Today we will cover Step 6: Find a guiding hand to hold.

I have been interviewing amazing guest after amazing guest on The Healing Place Podcast over these past few months. Insightful souls who offer coaching services, have created online courses, written books, host podcasts, offer presentations, run retreats, and so much more! All with the intent of helping others along their healing journey. I am in love with the idea of utilizing our own healing experiences to help those who are looking for guidance and a comforting hand to hold. I know when I was in despair, I was flailing in my efforts to find answers.

Finding both of my therapists (yes, I was seeing two at the same time at one point – one for talk therapy and another for EMDR therapy and trauma-processing work) was life-altering. I felt a sense of calm just knowing I had guidance as I started taking those first steps onto the healing path. However, I also started to reach out to coaches and non-traditional therapy professionals, as well. I attended a class on the Hawaiian healing technique, Ho’oponopono; had an EFT (emotional freedom technique) healing session conducted on two occasions in my home; started practicing yoga with a trained professional who had an understanding of trauma storage in the body; and other similar self-care strategies. Finding what works for YOU is the key to creating a plan and building your coping tool box.

Here are five suggestions for finding a guiding “hand to hold”:

  • Listen to podcasts or watch YouTube videos related to your needs: I am a researcher by nature. My favorite question as a child, according to my parents, was, “Why?” Understanding your habits, fears, concerns, solutions, and just having a feeling of connection through the power of “Oh my gosh, me, too!”, can empower your healing quest. The trick is to search for key words (try typing the following in a Google search ACEsEFT tapping, or Yoga YouTube . . . I personally LOVE Yoga with Adrienne!)  *Hint* My podcast has over 50 episodes filled with motivation, inspiration, and healing light and can be listened to at your convenience simply by visiting my website and scrolling to the bottom of the podcast page. If you have Bluetooth capabilities in your car, hit play and listen in while you drive!
  • Find an online course, webinar or summit: Some are free, some are free for a limited time and then available to purchase an access pass, some are fee-based and costs vary from minimal to what some may consider to be expensive. I know I recently watched a webinar and the presenter then offered me a package deal at the end for only two payments of $4,998.00. After I finished choking on my coffee, I exited out of the program a little wiser on my need to research before devoting an hour of my precious time. Make sure to review ratings and create a bookmark folder for yourself. I have folders labeled, “research”, “blogs”, “podcasts”, and so on. Some are geared toward professionals and others toward those seeking assistance. For example, an “addictions webinar” search will bring up both professional and personal webinar options.
  • Hire a therapist: This one can be tricky only because there are factors to consider such as insurance coverage, type of therapy, available providers in your area, and so on. Do not let it inhibit you, however. I promise you, the effort you put in to finding the right therapist will be worth it. I had searched for an EMDR therapist when my counselor first suggested I consider EMDR as a trauma-processing option and found someone close to home (I was experiencing pretty severe driving anxiety at that time). I did no further research before scheduling the appointment. And, wow, was THAT a lesson learned. He told me I was “cured” after three sessions and then advised me that the reason I had highway phobias was because “cars are big and scary”. Oh boy. Yes, I reported him. Yes, I stopped seeing him immediately. Then I searched again, researched the woman I found who most appealed to my needs, and promised myself I could drive the forty minutes to her office as I was so very worthy of the effort. Ninety-eight sessions and four years later, I was a new woman. It was truly a life-altering process and I am forever grateful to Dr. Barb Hensley of Cincinnati Trauma Connection. Find someone who specializes in your needs (if having someone who is LGBTQ sensitive is important, then specify that in your search, and/or perhaps you would feel more comfortable with a specific gender, or you would like to consider a therapy with minimal talking such as an art therapy modality). Again. . . do YOU and what works for your needs.
  • Secure a life-coach: This can also seem a daunting task. There are coaches for weight loss, general motivation (think Tony Robbins), relationship coaches, stress and mental health, career coaching, online coaching, Facebook coaching groups, coaches you can call or video-chat with weekly, and on and on. Many of my podcast guests offer coaching services. The key, again, is finding what works for you. Assess your needs and then research. Are you looking for someone who specializes in toxic relationships? Or maybe co-dependency? Perhaps you really want a guiding hand when it comes to emotional eating. Do you need time-management help? A goal of mine is to create a coaching plan for healing through the power of forgiveness. I look forward to creating a course and/or coaching plan in 2019!
  • Utilize the power of friendship and soul connections: I treasure those go-to peeps in my life that I can call at any time to cry, laugh, wallow, or celebrate. Whether it’s my sister or a close friend, my mom or my son who lives five states away, there is solace in connecting. As I discussed in my August, 2018 Hope for Healing Newsletter, make an effort to connect with others with similar interests and you will start to grow your support network. As I’ve stressed previously, however, be sure to reach for those who lift you up with positivity, avoiding (if not eliminating) those toxic relationships and the energy-vampires who will hinder your healing progress.
Coming up next month: Step 7: Learn to become your own hero.

The Healing Place Podcast Interview: Sarah Guilfoy – Heart to Heart

Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I’m your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/
I thoroughly enjoyed my connection and laughter shared with my guest Sarah Guilfoy – founder and managing director of the non-profit, Heart to Heart. Sarah’s background includes teaching, a degree in Psychology, and a personal ACEs score of 8/9 (so very similar to my own background!). Please join us as we discuss Sarah’s beautiful passion of providing a parent support line via phone, text, and email as a way of offering free emotional support for caregivers. Heart to Heart is partnered with Healthy Beginnings in the state of Oregon.

As shared from the Heart to Heart website:

“Heart to Heart is a free telephone, text, and email service for parents and others experiencing family life or parenting challenges.

This nonjudgmental service provides a listening ear, support and guidance to parents and caregivers who are upset or troubled about a family issue, or just need someone to talk to. Heart to Heart is staffed by parent volunteers. As parents, they truly understand that parenting is hard work! They are available to help ease some of that workload, by offering support.

LEARN MORE AT 541-322-2019″

Thanks for tuning in!

You can also watch our interview on YouTube. So exciting!

The Healing Place Podcast Interview: Stephanie McPhail – Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt

Shared from The Healing Place Podcast Blubrry page:
 
Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I’m your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/. I am happy to announce that our interview can also be viewed on YouTube!
 
I was excited to have Stephanie McPhail join me for a hope-filled conversation about her “Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt” mission, personal story of triumph, and more!
 

“Our mission is to provide you with personalized support and resources to assist you in transforming your life into one with greater joy and purpose, less pain and stress, better relationships, more vibrant physical and emotional health, greater balance and effectiveness, and increased resilience to life’s challenges.”
Stephanie is a full-time health teacher, transformational coach, published author, and speaker.
 
Find out more about the incredible healing work Stephanie is doing at:Codependency and Healing Support Group
 
** Free private online Facebook community. https://m.facebook.com/groups/1864199980571495
 
** Online group healing coaching course. In the middle of one now. Please PM me if you are interested in joining the next group starting 11/1!
 
** Free weekly educational FB lives on Being Loved Shouldnt Hurt  Business Page. Please like/follow the page so you can get notified when we go live or share a video.
 
** My number one new release in Codependency Being Loved Shouldnt Hurt
Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt: Recognize and Overcome Toxic Relationships So You Can Live Your Best Life Now https://www.amazon.com/dp/1987770048/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_.eaMBbQDYKA9H
 
** Subscribe to our YouTube  channel Being Loved Shouldnt Hurt by Stephanie McPhail
 
** My amazing husband David Charon is also a part of the team, he offers remote Reiki and a high speed mindset change (to help shift beliefs that keep you from healing) called PsychK
 
We are more than happy to talk with you about anything we offer and share more info, just private message us or send me an email at mindandbodyawakenings@gmail.com or stephanie@beinglovedshouldnthurt.com
 
To learn more about my husband and I please visit our website
 
Peace to you all!
Teri

Broken Trophies & Nature Hearts

I want to share a story of hope. And love. And forgiveness. But, before I share the happy part, I want to tell you about my dad and our history. For those needing it, *trigger warning for physical abuse*.

My dad hit me, quite violently at times, using a belt most days (the jingle of a belt buckle used to make those little hairs on my neck take notice). I was the oldest of two girls and, fortunate for me, but not my younger sister, I could scurry behind a locked bathroom door before being caught. I would spend my moments of terror, counting dingy white tiles in our tiny apartment bathroom, trying to tune out the sounds coming from outside my temporary safe space.

However, sometimes I was caught. Dad was six foot six, two-hundred and eighty pounds, and angry. At life. At his circumstances. At his alcoholic wife screaming for him to silence the children. At financial woes. At his boss. Whatever it was, he was angry about it. And we were easy prey, my little sister and me.

Sometimes he would throw something. Once he beheaded a statue of Jesus. My sister glued it back on. Another time, he broke my soccer trophy in half. I taped it back together with masking tape. The soccer player looked like she was playing with a cast on. Symbolic really. Keep on striving, even when broken.

When I was ten years old, my dad called me into his bedroom (my parents slept in separate rooms). He sat me on his lap and told me the following: “Teri, I’ve been seeing a doctor. A counselor. And I now realize I never should have hit you. I’m sorry. I promise to never hit you again. From now on you get to decide your discipline.” There was more, but that’s all I can remember.

And he never hit me again. My first lesson in forgiveness. And what a beautifully powerful one it was.

You see, my dad was also my saving grace. He was the one who took us to Burger Chef for a Fun Meal after our soccer games on Saturday mornings. Mom was at work and rarely came to our games. Dad tucked us in with stories of dragons and spaceships and talking dogs. He was the one who taught me how to count with raisins. And sat me on his lap when he would draw. He ran alongside my purple bike with the flowered banana seat as I wobbled around the school playground until he felt safe enough to let go, cheering me on with an exuberant, “You’re doing it!”

He was a good dad. Who was hurt as a child and didn’t know the impact of his violent actions on his own children until someone came along to show him the error of his ways. I thank God he had the compassion to listen. And apologize.

My dad died in January, 2009, of complications resulting from his diabetes.

This morning I went for my morning hike and said, “Dad, you should join me” (he loved his ‘exercise walks’ as he called them). I truly believe his spirit tagged along.

I was walking along a path strewn with hundreds of leaves when I sensed an excited energy urging me to “look down!” Sure enough. There in that mix of decaying brown, yellow, red, and orange tints was a tiny heart.

This continued throughout my hike. I would smile and send out an “I see it! Thanks!”

As I was headed to my car, the last of the sun on a blue-sky morning, now turning grey, was peering through a yellow-leafed tree. I felt a “Look up!” energy. I did and couldn’t help but laugh. There it was 💛

#thanksDad

November 2018 Monthly Book Launch Update

book, Teri

From my Unicorn Shadows Book Launch Team Facebook page:

My Unicorn Shadows: From Trauma to Triumph – A Healing Guide book is in manuscript form, awaiting completion then editing. It will head off to agent/publisher contacts afterward. My focus is now turned to completing it by month end. Yay!

I launched my e-book, Stop Thinking . . . Just Love this week. A book dedicated to my Dad, Jim Kamphaus, who left this world in January, 2009, and sent me a message through a friend after he had died. That message was, “Tell Teri to stop thinking and just love.” Soon afterward I started to find hearts, symbols of love, everywhere. Every day. This book is filled with over 600 heart photos, some taken by me and some gifted to me by others, and inspirational stories and quotes. My wish is that people find hope within its pages. I told my son, John (who is a numbers geek like his momma), to randomly pick a number between 1-131 each day and see what page offers inspiration for that day!

Dad & me circa 1979

The Healing Place Podcast continues to grow. And what an amazing collection of guests I have had on air over the past few weeks. I am excited for the latest interviews to air. I have started recording the video as well as audio and have added the first video to YouTube. I will be adding more this coming week. You can check out the first vlog of The Healing Place Podcast below. There have been over 2,000 downloads of the podcasts. Exciting!

My Hope for Healing monthly newsletter continues to gain subscribers, as well. Thank you to all who have signed up. If you know anyone looking for a guiding resource for anxiety, panic attacks, depression, trauma history, or just a need for more hope, please send them to my website and tell them to “subscribe” using the pop-up or the subscribe button in the upper right corner, at www.teriwellbrock.com. Thanks!

Sammie Doodle, our registered therapy dog through Pet Partners, will be working one day a week at a local elementary school in a therapy dog role, helping children with anxiety needs. We are so very proud of Sammie! We will be delivering our Sammie’s Bundles of Hope to shelters throughout the Cincinnati area for kids with trauma-history, prior to Thanksgiving. If you are aware of a need, please reach out to me via info@teriwellbrock.com so we can add it to our list. Thank you!

My blog is growing a following, too! I have been sharing my blog posts on ACEs Connection, as well. If you would like to follow along, please join me at www.unicornshadows.com.

Whew! That sounds like a lot. And, while it is, I love every second of it. It doesn’t feel like work when it’s a passion, a calling, a soul-pull.

Until next month, I wish you peace and joy! For those of you stateside, have a blessed Thanksgiving, surrounded by love and laughter.

P.S. If you’d like to order a copy of my e-book (at the cost of a fast food meal deal!), please do so using the link below. And share, share, share away. Please and thank you!

Stop Thinking . . . Just Love

The Healing Place Podcast Interview: Julie Brand – A Wise Retreat

Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I’m your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/
I was thrilled to engage in a beautiful conversation with Julie Brand – founder and executive director of A WISE Retreat program for women. Julie is an addiction specialist, domestic violence counselor, youth educator, and trauma-warrior with a personal ACEs score of 9+. Please join us as we discuss Julie’s heart-felt mission to provide a space for holistic healing for her clients.

As shared from A Wise Retreat website:

A Wise Retreat specializes in the holistic restoration of women. Our services are tailored to the unique needs of each individual at a comfortable, private, and culturally sensitive location where women can get the care and treatment needed. Our services include but are not limited to;

  • Dual Diagnosis Treatment
  • Addictions counseling
  • Domestic Violence Counseling
  • Trauma Informed Care
  • Family Treatment
  • Bio Chemical Re-balancing
  • Intensive Out Patient
  • After Care

A Wise Retreat is a private drug & alcohol residential treatment facility exclusively for women. Located 30 miles North of beautiful San Francisco, A Wise Retreat sits on a hillside surrounded by luscious tall trees that provide shade, privacy, peace and serenity in a home-like setting.

Women Inspired, Supported & Empowered!

Please be sure to follow, visit, and reach out at http://www.awiseretreat.com/ or call 855-500-WISE (9473).

Also, check out Julie’s book series In the Eyes of Innocence on Smashwords!

Peace to you all!
Teri

The Healing Place Podcast Interview: Cortney Edmondson

Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I’m your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/
I thoroughly enjoyed this enlightening interview with Cortney Edmondson – advocate, speaker, survivor, activist. Please join us as we discuss Cortney’s healing journey from trauma to triumph, her mission to provide others with a space to share their stories, her speaking joys, and much more!
Cortney shared the following information (and totally made my day with the compliment!):
Thank you so much for the opportunity to share tonight.  You are an incredible host! Below are the links to my instagram profiles and my website.
 
Instagram: @cortney_edmondson    &    @embracing_ACEs

Please be sure to follow, visit, and reach out.

Peace to you all!
Teri

 

 

 

What is ART?


What is ART?
ART is the acronym for accelerated resolution therapy . . . and, wow, do I wish I could find a therapist in the Cincinnati area practicing this newfound approach to healing trauma. My research thus far indicates there are currently no practicing ART practitioners in Ohio.
However, the University of Cincinnati Gardner Neuroscience Institute is currently engaged in a study involving the comparison of accelerated resolution therapy (ART) and cognitive processing therapy (CPT).
According to The Rosenzweig Center for Rapid Recovery, accelerated resolution therapy is a form of psychotherapy involving the use of eye movement using a technique called Voluntary Memory/Image Replacement.
During this process, a licensed practitioner guides the client through a series of steps in order to change the way negative images are stored in the brain, by waving a hand in front of the client in order to stimulate eye movement. Old negative images are replaced with new positive images, sometimes resulting in instantaneous results. 

 

Similar to EMDR, which I utilized over a four year period, this methodology uses eye movements, but allows the client to replace images of traumatic events with positive images. It is being used primarily with veterans as a way to combat their post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms.

 

I am optimistic that as we learn more about the brain’s plasticity, meaning its ability to change and rewire itself, these healing modalities will continue to flourish and provide much needed relief for those who have experienced traumatic events. Particularly if those events have resulted in stressful symptoms such as panic attacks, depression, anxiety, and codependency. 

The idea of replacing negative images storied in my memories with positive ones, to be able to “unsee” what haunts me, is a dream come true. EMDR certainly provided me an avenue for processing the pent up negative energy associated with my traumas. However, we became stuck at my highway and bridge phobias. After revisiting all of my traumatic events repeatedly, we still could not identify the trigger for the driving-induced panic symptoms. This ART therapy seems as if it just might be the perfect fit for replacing any negative images associated to highways and bridges with positive images instead. Amazing!

Please remember:Healing is possible and you are so very worthy of that gift! 

Coming next month: What is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)?
Excerpt from my monthly Hope for Healing Newsletter. Subscribe here! Thank you!

The Healing Place Podcast Interview: Kristina Bechtel – Trauma-Informed Care Social Work

Shared from my ACEs Connection blog post:
Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I’m your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/
I was so very pleased to share an insightful conversation with Kristina Bechtel regarding her journey through a personal history of early childhood trauma, a discussion on her symptoms surfacing, and her eventual healing journey. Kristina started her career working with the homeless population and has now turned her attention to mental health social work and sharing the trauma-informed care message with helping professions through presentations. Please listen in to Kristina’s powerful story and her passion to spread the trauma-informed care message of hope and healing.
You can contact Kristina for more information on her presentations at:
Phone: 715-523-2282
Email: kbechtel@lacrossecounty.org
Upcoming Speaking Engagement:2018 Wisconsin Peer Recovery Conference: Building Diverse Relationships
Holiday Inn and Convention Center, Stevens Point, Wisconsin
November 1st – 2nd, 2018
The Prevelance of Secondary Trauma in Helping Professionals: How We Keep Ourselves Safe

Morning Meditation

Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash

This is a morning meditation I utilized for quite awhile when first pursuing my podcast, book, blog, and speaking passions. Then I started using it as a way to release stored up negative energy from traumatic events in my youth. I envisioned it leaving my body with the sound. What a beautiful release it was. Honestly, at first I felt weird doing it. As I continued practicing it, however, I found comfort in releasing the sound into the universe. There were times I would walk around the rest of the day feeling a beautiful energy, a tingly sensation, radiating from my forehead. Researching the concept of chakras, I began to understand “centering” and balance within my mind and body.

I would love your feedback on this as you practice using it on a daily basis. How did you feel initially? What did you notice happening in your body? Your daily life? Your thought processes? Did you happen to have the same sensation in your third eye/forehead area as I did?

Thank you for allowing yourself the opportunity to experience something new, for giving yourself the gift of positive energy and treasured time. You are worthy of peace and joy.