Podcast Episode 47: Sarah Guilfoy – Heart to Heart

Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I’m your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/
I thoroughly enjoyed my connection and laughter shared with my guest Sarah Guilfoy – founder and managing director of the non-profit, Heart to Heart. Sarah’s background includes teaching, a degree in Psychology, and a personal ACEs score of 8/9 (so very similar to my own background!). Please join us as we discuss Sarah’s beautiful passion of providing a parent support line via phone, text, and email as a way of offering free emotional support for caregivers. Heart to Heart is partnered with Healthy Beginnings in the state of Oregon.

As shared from the Heart to Heart website:

“Heart to Heart is a free telephone, text, and email service for parents and others experiencing family life or parenting challenges.

This nonjudgmental service provides a listening ear, support and guidance to parents and caregivers who are upset or troubled about a family issue, or just need someone to talk to. Heart to Heart is staffed by parent volunteers. As parents, they truly understand that parenting is hard work! They are available to help ease some of that workload, by offering support.

LEARN MORE AT 541-322-2019″

Thanks for tuning in!

You can also watch our interview on YouTube. So exciting!

Podcast Episode 46: Stephanie McPhail – Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt

Shared from The Healing Place Podcast Blubrry page:
Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I’m your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/. I am happy to announce that our interview can also be viewed on YouTube!
I was excited to have Stephanie McPhail join me for a hope-filled conversation about her “Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt” mission, personal story of triumph, and more!

“Our mission is to provide you with personalized support and resources to assist you in transforming your life into one with greater joy and purpose, less pain and stress, better relationships, more vibrant physical and emotional health, greater balance and effectiveness, and increased resilience to life’s challenges.”
Stephanie is a full-time health teacher, transformational coach, published author, and speaker.
Find out more about the incredible healing work Stephanie is doing at:Codependency and Healing Support Group
** Free private online Facebook community. https://m.facebook.com/groups/1864199980571495
** Online group healing coaching course. In the middle of one now. Please PM me if you are interested in joining the next group starting 11/1!
** Free weekly educational FB lives on Being Loved Shouldnt Hurt  Business Page. Please like/follow the page so you can get notified when we go live or share a video.
** My number one new release in Codependency Being Loved Shouldnt Hurt
Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt: Recognize and Overcome Toxic Relationships So You Can Live Your Best Life Now https://www.amazon.com/dp/1987770048/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_.eaMBbQDYKA9H
** Subscribe to our YouTube  channel Being Loved Shouldnt Hurt by Stephanie McPhail
** My amazing husband David Charon is also a part of the team, he offers remote Reiki and a high speed mindset change (to help shift beliefs that keep you from healing) called PsychK
We are more than happy to talk with you about anything we offer and share more info, just private message us or send me an email at mindandbodyawakenings@gmail.com or stephanie@beinglovedshouldnthurt.com
To learn more about my husband and I please visit our website
Peace to you all!
Teri

Defining Resilience: Step 2 – Seek Out and Nurture Supportive Relationships

A sneak peak at a portion of my upcoming Hope for Healing newsletter scheduled for delivery August 1st. Subscribe at Hope for Healing newsletter or on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com. Thanks!

Defining Resilience

Step 2: Seek Out and Nurture Supportive Relationships

Before diving into step 2, a reminder about resilience: it is defined as the ability to overcome adverse conditions; with healthy bonding relationships, guidance, support, and compassion as the catalysts. Basically, it entails having the capacity to bounce back from stressful or overwhelming experiences.

What are some steps we can take to ensure we are building resilience in our lives?

  1. Focus on the positives
  2. Seek out and nurture supportive relationships.
  3. Utilize self-care strategies. 
  4. Take action steps to create positive change.
  5. Work on healthy habit formation. 
  6. Find a guiding hand to hold.
  7. Learn to become our own hero. 
  8. Be gentle with ourselves.

Today we will cover Step 2: Seek out and nurture supportive relationships.

The day my therapist said to me, in reference to my then-BFF, “Teri, you need to put some healthy boundaries in place,” I just stared at her befuddled. I truly had no idea what a “healthy boundary” looked like. Growing up in a co-dependent relationship with my alcoholic mother, I had spent my youth playing the part of the peace-keeper and “good girl” in order to create some sense of calm within the chaos. My sister and I have discussed, on many occasions, the impact physical abuse and emotional abandonment had on our future relationships. We agreed we had no concept how to even go about putting healthy boundaries in place and why that was critical for establishing and maintaining healthy relationships, friendships, and partnerships.

Here are five “healthy boundary” suggestions followed by five relationship-nurturing ideas to incorporate into your own life:

  • You are allowed to say “no”: Practice doing it. It may be difficult, at first, but you will soon reap the benefits of more time, less resentment, and empowerment within your own life and decisions. If you do not want to do something, then don’t do it. And if someone is upset by that then you know that relationship needs some boundary work!
  • Expand your circle: One of the first indications that I was in an unhealthy friendship with poor boundaries was when I was criticized by that friend for becoming more involved in my daughter’s school activities and developing new friendships. Broadening my circle and developing a tribe of supportive souls not only shined a light on the unhealthy patterns, but helped me create new healthier habits within those friendships.
  • Notice any unhealthy habits: I had a tendency to latch on with a death-grip, almost to the point of obsession, to those who loved me even after knowing all of my deep, dark secrets. I had such a deep-seated fear of abandonment that I would spend more time trying to keep the peace and play along, even when I disagreed with something, that I lost myself in the process. Once I started to become aware of my unhealthy habits, I was able to re-direct myself toward healthy boundaries.
  • Be honest: I kept quiet for far too many years because I was afraid that speaking up would result in being left. Once I realized that I was entitled to have not only my opinion but a voice to speak it, and that the reactions of others, whether they sent me packing or not, had nothing to do with me and everything to do with where they were on their own journey, I found solace. There is a release that happens in accepting “abandonment”. Knowing others might walk away when you put healthy boundaries in place is an indication that they still have work to do in their own lives. However, many will stick with you as you learn to speak your truth, and even more will gravitate toward you.
  • Know your worth: Knowing your worth on every level and protecting it are critical to maintaining supportive and healthy relationships. Your healthy boundaries include physical (no one should touch you in a harmful way), emotional (being ridiculed is unacceptable behavior from others), spiritual (you are most assuredly entitled to your beliefs), cognitive (mind-games can be a controlling aspect in particular relationships, especially those involving narcissists). Be sure to utilize positive affirmations and practice them daily (“I am worthy”, “I am kind”, “I am lovable”, etc.).
As you move away from toxic relationships, you will notice a shift occurring as those healthier habits attract more positivity into your life. Use this as an opportunity to create new friendships. Reach out to others in support and notice as they return the gesture. Some ideas to consider:
  1. Join groups that spark your passion or pique your interest – such as volunteering at an animal shelter, a rock-climbing club, your church choir, a car enthusiasts group, a small business association, etc.
  2. Reach out to those who allow you your boundaries – notice new people who come across your path and respect those boundaries.
  3. Engage in support groups (in person or online) – such as Al-Anon, parenting groups through mental health agencies, faith courses offered through churches, etc.
  4. Write thank you notes, texts or emails to those who offer supportive roles in your life – offering gratitude for the positive support not only keeps it in perspective for you, but helps others realize the impact they are having in the lives of others.
  5. Offer your support to others – by reaching out a helping hand you can start to develop reciprocal relationships in which you help one another when needed.