Coping Strategy: Smile

Coping Strategy
(as shared from my Hope for Healing monthly newsletter)

I want to share one coping strategy a month. These are strategies I use (or have used) in my own life as I travel the healing journey. I hope they bring you tranquility, as well!

Smile

I recently interviewed Bob Lancer of http://schoolsupportmotivation.com/and https://7mindsets.com/ on The Healing Place Podcast. As we discussed the Seven Mindsets, I was reminded how I had made a concerted effort to change my thinking patterns and create new habits filled with positivity instead of focusing on the struggles when I first started out on my healing journey. One of the strategies I used when experiencing a panic attack was forcing myself to smile while in the midst of panic! Practicing this exercise, while feeling incredibly overwhelmed with symptoms (sweaty palms, racing thoughts, tunnel vision, pounding heart), created a shift in chemicals surging through my body. I utilized positivity to counteract the fear response that was surfacing.I was reminded to keep a small smile on my face during meditations, as well. I am continually amazed how a conscious effort to smile can instantly create a shift in my mindset. My shoulders will usually relax, my breath slows down, and I can feel a change in my attitude. Such a simple act can have powerful effects. Practice doing it today and notice the impact it has on the moment, your day, and your overall life.

The Seven Mindsets:

  1. Everything is possible.
  2. We are connected.
  3. Passion first.
  4. 100% accountability in every situation.
  5. The attitude of gratitude.
  6. Live to give.
  7. The time is now.
Remember to focus on what there is to appreciate in every moment. There is always a reason to smile.

Podcast Episode 49: Bob Lancer – 7 Mindsets & Coaching Work

Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I’m your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/

I was thrilled to engage in an insightful conversation with Bob Lancer regarding his seminar and coaching work related to http://schoolsupportmotivation.com/ and https://7mindsets.com/. Please join us as we discuss his role in:

* changing minds
* working with teachers to help liberate children’s true selves
* his work with adults recovering from abusive relationships
* 7 mindsets demonstrated by the happiest and most successful people on earth

As shared by Bob:

“Bob Lancer has been a parent educator and coach, as well as a professional development trainer for teachers, for over 3 decades. His work includes helping individuals recognize and recover from trauma patterns received in early childhood that keep them locked into self-defeating reaction patterns and intense emotional suffering. He works in association with 7Mindsets (see www.7mindsets.com), a leading edge company that delivers the only Mindsets based Social Emotional Learning programs in schools. For more information about Bob’s work, and to schedule a complimentary coaching session with him, visit www.boblancer.com.”

You can reach out to Bob at his schoolsupportmotivation.com website – be sure to mention this podcast for a free PDF of his upcoming book: “The 7 Mindsets of Extraordinary Parenting.”

Peace to you all!
Teri

Hope for Healing Newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/6d83db4cf426/hope-for-healing-newsletter-november-2018

Book Launch Team: https://www.facebook.com/groups/unicornshadows/

Podcast Episode 48: Anna Runkle – Crappy Childhood Fairy

Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I’m your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/

I was excited to have Anna Runkle, the Crappy Childhood Fairy, join me for a deep and powerful conversation about her Crappy Childhood Fairy mission, courses, philosophies, and more!

Anna Runkle is a video producer, speaker and writer, and is the author of the blog Crappy Childhood Fairy, where she cartoons and writes about her own childhood, growing up in a hippie family that struggled with alcohol, drugs, violence and poverty. In the blog, Anna writes essays — with her characteristic tough love humor — about the challenges faced by many people with high ACE scores. In the blog and in her online course, Healing Childhood PTSD, she teaches simple techniques that she’s used to overcome the nervous system dysregulation that so often accompanies Childhood PTSD. She’s currently working on a new online course, Dating and Relationships for People with Childhood PTSD, to be released during the holidays. When she’s not blogging, she produces marketing and training videos for healthcare and business clients at her company Click to Play Media. She lives with her husband and two teenage sons in Berkeley, California.

You can find out more information by visiting https://crappychildhoodfairy.com/.

As shared from the Crappy Childhood website: “I didn’t know then that what I had was Childhood PTSD. It’s a little different than the kind that soldiers get (which is triggered by events in adulthood). Mine became obvious one day in 1994 when I was attacked on the street, and was knocked unconscious. My injuries healed but I could not focus my mind enough to read or use the phone for several months. I had panic attacks and depression, and began falling into an emotional abyss. In the nick of time, I was shown a particular daily practice of writing and meditating that immediately made me feel better. Over the last 24 years I’ve shown this technique to hundreds of people who seemed to suffer similarly to me, though none of us had a name for it before.”

Thanks for listening in to this inspirational conversation!

You can also watch our interview on YouTube. So exciting!

Peace,

Teri

What Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)?


What is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)?
A friend of mine is a therapist, working with adults/teens in the Greater Cincinnati area, and one of her specialties in DBT or dialectical behavior therapy. I decided an interview with her would be a great addition to this newsletter. Thank you, Lauren O’Keefe, MS, for sharing your brilliant DBT insights with us.

1) What exactly is DBT?

This is such a common question! My immediate thought, “Um, DBT is DBT, what do you mean!” But, in all seriousness, it refers to “Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.” It is a life changing treatment modality pioneered by the fantastic Marsha Linehan.

DBT focuses on high sensitivity and high reactivity to triggers. It focuses and can address so many things.The main focus is to target parasuicidal and suicidal behaviors. It’s also one of the only effective and research-based treatments for borderline personality disorder and eating disorders. It assists with allowing opposite and dialectical functioning to be true. For an example: “You can be scared AND strong.” Or, “ You can be trying your best AND still need to do better.” DBT is all about acceptance, peace and non judgment.

DBT is effective when the treatment as a whole is being followed. This treatment includes group therapy, individual therapy and phone coaching components.

2) Are therapists all trained in it or is it a specialized modality?

Like most modalities, you can do either. In order to specialize, you must demonstrate proficiency. This includes but not limited to: frequent trainings, research, frequent practice of the skills, etc.

If you decide to certify rather than specialize, the certification process is extensive for this modality. It is one personally I am preparing for. I currently identify as highly specialized, with over 2 years of DBT use and experience.

To certify you must complete all 4-5 separate trainings that are each 1-2 day trainings. You must read the CBT for Borderline Personality Book, and lead a year of DBT groups. Among this, you must ask participate in the DBT consult teams, acquire a letter of recommendation, and sit for the exam. These guidelines can change; but, when I last researched this, this is what I found. As extensive as it is, I respect it. It ensures the integrity of the treatment program and those practicing it.

3) Why should someone consider DBT?

Why wouldn’t you consider it? That’s the true question! Yes, it targets parasuicide and suicide behaviors. It also can address a slew of issues such as: interpersonal instability, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, anxiety of any degree, depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder. It can also assist with trauma symptoms and providing a large amount of stability skills for those dealing with PTSD. The uses for this treatment are endless. It can be used for just about any clinical problem or concern.

4) How long does it take to notice a therapeutic impact?

This is a very hard question to answer for any counseling approach. The effectiveness and improvement times are determined by client commitment. If you work in sessions and are committed to progress- in and out of appointments- then one can see progress within a few months. But, this is highly dependent on the patient.

5) What is a typical session like?

A typical session is like a traditional therapy session, the only difference is we have a whole binder of skills we weave into the sessions and teach to assist the patient in acquiring, generalizing and strengthening. DBT differs in that it requires group therapy to be effective. The Groups assist with faster skill acquisition and they function as a skill classroom. Without the groups, progress can be slower in my opinion.

6) Do you assign homework to clients?

ABSOLUTELY!!!! DBT group and individual rely heavily on homework and patient accountability. If they don’t commit, progress is stagnant.

As a therapist, we have an easy job so to speak. We teach and guide. Patients have the hard job, they have to put it into action. You cannot expect things to get better if you do nothing to change the circumstances. Homework forces the circumstances to change— and boy do they! Trust the work!

7) What are some goals a client might seek to attain while utilizing DBT?  

One we use as a blanket goal is: “Create a life worth living.”  This leaves it up to the patient to self direct. Trouble with panic attacks? Trouble with maintaining friendships? Trouble with boundaries? Self harming? Done done done! DBT has got your back! You are the driver! You tell us what your perfect life would be, and we help you create and achieve it.

In order to get through hell, you have to go through hell, and once you’re free, you are free. Trust the journey.

Hope this helps!


Please remember:Healing is possible and you are so very worthy of that gift! 

Coming next month: What is Qigong?

Defining Resilience Series: Step 6 – Find a Guiding Hand to Hold

Defining Resilience


Step 6: Find a Guiding Hand to Hold

Before diving into step 6, a reminder about resilience: it is defined as the ability to overcome adverse conditions; with healthy bonding relationships, guidance, support, and compassion as the catalysts. Basically, it entails having the capacity to bounce back from stressful or overwhelming experiences.

What are some steps we can take to ensure we are building resilience in our lives?

  1. Focus on the positives. 
  2. Seek out and nurture supportive relationships.
  3. Utilize self-care strategies. 
  4. Take action steps to create positive change.
  5. Work on healthy habit formation. 
  6. Find a guiding hand to hold.
  7. Learn to become our own hero. 
  8. Be gentle with ourselves.

Today we will cover Step 6: Find a guiding hand to hold.

I have been interviewing amazing guest after amazing guest on The Healing Place Podcast over these past few months. Insightful souls who offer coaching services, have created online courses, written books, host podcasts, offer presentations, run retreats, and so much more! All with the intent of helping others along their healing journey. I am in love with the idea of utilizing our own healing experiences to help those who are looking for guidance and a comforting hand to hold. I know when I was in despair, I was flailing in my efforts to find answers.

Finding both of my therapists (yes, I was seeing two at the same time at one point – one for talk therapy and another for EMDR therapy and trauma-processing work) was life-altering. I felt a sense of calm just knowing I had guidance as I started taking those first steps onto the healing path. However, I also started to reach out to coaches and non-traditional therapy professionals, as well. I attended a class on the Hawaiian healing technique, Ho’oponopono; had an EFT (emotional freedom technique) healing session conducted on two occasions in my home; started practicing yoga with a trained professional who had an understanding of trauma storage in the body; and other similar self-care strategies. Finding what works for YOU is the key to creating a plan and building your coping tool box.

Here are five suggestions for finding a guiding “hand to hold”:

  • Listen to podcasts or watch YouTube videos related to your needs: I am a researcher by nature. My favorite question as a child, according to my parents, was, “Why?” Understanding your habits, fears, concerns, solutions, and just having a feeling of connection through the power of “Oh my gosh, me, too!”, can empower your healing quest. The trick is to search for key words (try typing the following in a Google search ACEsEFT tapping, or Yoga YouTube . . . I personally LOVE Yoga with Adrienne!)  *Hint* My podcast has over 50 episodes filled with motivation, inspiration, and healing light and can be listened to at your convenience simply by visiting my website and scrolling to the bottom of the podcast page. If you have Bluetooth capabilities in your car, hit play and listen in while you drive!
  • Find an online course, webinar or summit: Some are free, some are free for a limited time and then available to purchase an access pass, some are fee-based and costs vary from minimal to what some may consider to be expensive. I know I recently watched a webinar and the presenter then offered me a package deal at the end for only two payments of $4,998.00. After I finished choking on my coffee, I exited out of the program a little wiser on my need to research before devoting an hour of my precious time. Make sure to review ratings and create a bookmark folder for yourself. I have folders labeled, “research”, “blogs”, “podcasts”, and so on. Some are geared toward professionals and others toward those seeking assistance. For example, an “addictions webinar” search will bring up both professional and personal webinar options.
  • Hire a therapist: This one can be tricky only because there are factors to consider such as insurance coverage, type of therapy, available providers in your area, and so on. Do not let it inhibit you, however. I promise you, the effort you put in to finding the right therapist will be worth it. I had searched for an EMDR therapist when my counselor first suggested I consider EMDR as a trauma-processing option and found someone close to home (I was experiencing pretty severe driving anxiety at that time). I did no further research before scheduling the appointment. And, wow, was THAT a lesson learned. He told me I was “cured” after three sessions and then advised me that the reason I had highway phobias was because “cars are big and scary”. Oh boy. Yes, I reported him. Yes, I stopped seeing him immediately. Then I searched again, researched the woman I found who most appealed to my needs, and promised myself I could drive the forty minutes to her office as I was so very worthy of the effort. Ninety-eight sessions and four years later, I was a new woman. It was truly a life-altering process and I am forever grateful to Dr. Barb Hensley of Cincinnati Trauma Connection. Find someone who specializes in your needs (if having someone who is LGBTQ sensitive is important, then specify that in your search, and/or perhaps you would feel more comfortable with a specific gender, or you would like to consider a therapy with minimal talking such as an art therapy modality). Again. . . do YOU and what works for your needs.
  • Secure a life-coach: This can also seem a daunting task. There are coaches for weight loss, general motivation (think Tony Robbins), relationship coaches, stress and mental health, career coaching, online coaching, Facebook coaching groups, coaches you can call or video-chat with weekly, and on and on. Many of my podcast guests offer coaching services. The key, again, is finding what works for you. Assess your needs and then research. Are you looking for someone who specializes in toxic relationships? Or maybe co-dependency? Perhaps you really want a guiding hand when it comes to emotional eating. Do you need time-management help? A goal of mine is to create a coaching plan for healing through the power of forgiveness. I look forward to creating a course and/or coaching plan in 2019!
  • Utilize the power of friendship and soul connections: I treasure those go-to peeps in my life that I can call at any time to cry, laugh, wallow, or celebrate. Whether it’s my sister or a close friend, my mom or my son who lives five states away, there is solace in connecting. As I discussed in my August, 2018 Hope for Healing Newsletter, make an effort to connect with others with similar interests and you will start to grow your support network. As I’ve stressed previously, however, be sure to reach for those who lift you up with positivity, avoiding (if not eliminating) those toxic relationships and the energy-vampires who will hinder your healing progress.
Coming up next month: Step 7: Learn to become your own hero.

Podcast Episode 47: Sarah Guilfoy – Heart to Heart

Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I’m your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/
I thoroughly enjoyed my connection and laughter shared with my guest Sarah Guilfoy – founder and managing director of the non-profit, Heart to Heart. Sarah’s background includes teaching, a degree in Psychology, and a personal ACEs score of 8/9 (so very similar to my own background!). Please join us as we discuss Sarah’s beautiful passion of providing a parent support line via phone, text, and email as a way of offering free emotional support for caregivers. Heart to Heart is partnered with Healthy Beginnings in the state of Oregon.

As shared from the Heart to Heart website:

“Heart to Heart is a free telephone, text, and email service for parents and others experiencing family life or parenting challenges.

This nonjudgmental service provides a listening ear, support and guidance to parents and caregivers who are upset or troubled about a family issue, or just need someone to talk to. Heart to Heart is staffed by parent volunteers. As parents, they truly understand that parenting is hard work! They are available to help ease some of that workload, by offering support.

LEARN MORE AT 541-322-2019″

Thanks for tuning in!

You can also watch our interview on YouTube. So exciting!

Podcast Episode 46: Stephanie McPhail – Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt

Shared from The Healing Place Podcast Blubrry page:
Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I’m your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/. I am happy to announce that our interview can also be viewed on YouTube!
I was excited to have Stephanie McPhail join me for a hope-filled conversation about her “Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt” mission, personal story of triumph, and more!

“Our mission is to provide you with personalized support and resources to assist you in transforming your life into one with greater joy and purpose, less pain and stress, better relationships, more vibrant physical and emotional health, greater balance and effectiveness, and increased resilience to life’s challenges.”
Stephanie is a full-time health teacher, transformational coach, published author, and speaker.
Find out more about the incredible healing work Stephanie is doing at:Codependency and Healing Support Group
** Free private online Facebook community. https://m.facebook.com/groups/1864199980571495
** Online group healing coaching course. In the middle of one now. Please PM me if you are interested in joining the next group starting 11/1!
** Free weekly educational FB lives on Being Loved Shouldnt Hurt  Business Page. Please like/follow the page so you can get notified when we go live or share a video.
** My number one new release in Codependency Being Loved Shouldnt Hurt
Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt: Recognize and Overcome Toxic Relationships So You Can Live Your Best Life Now https://www.amazon.com/dp/1987770048/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_.eaMBbQDYKA9H
** Subscribe to our YouTube  channel Being Loved Shouldnt Hurt by Stephanie McPhail
** My amazing husband David Charon is also a part of the team, he offers remote Reiki and a high speed mindset change (to help shift beliefs that keep you from healing) called PsychK
We are more than happy to talk with you about anything we offer and share more info, just private message us or send me an email at mindandbodyawakenings@gmail.com or stephanie@beinglovedshouldnthurt.com
To learn more about my husband and I please visit our website
Peace to you all!
Teri

Broken Trophies & Nature Hearts

I want to share a story of hope. And love. And forgiveness. But, before I share the happy part, I want to tell you about my dad and our history. For those needing it, *trigger warning for physical abuse*.

My dad hit me, quite violently at times, using a belt most days (the jingle of a belt buckle used to make those little hairs on my neck take notice). I was the oldest of two girls and, fortunate for me, but not my younger sister, I could scurry behind a locked bathroom door before being caught. I would spend my moments of terror, counting dingy white tiles in our tiny apartment bathroom, trying to tune out the sounds coming from outside my temporary safe space.

However, sometimes I was caught. Dad was six foot six, two-hundred and eighty pounds, and angry. At life. At his circumstances. At his alcoholic wife screaming for him to silence the children. At financial woes. At his boss. Whatever it was, he was angry about it. And we were easy prey, my little sister and me.

Sometimes he would throw something. Once he beheaded a statue of Jesus. My sister glued it back on. Another time, he broke my soccer trophy in half. I taped it back together with masking tape. The soccer player looked like she was playing with a cast on. Symbolic really. Keep on striving, even when broken.

When I was ten years old, my dad called me into his bedroom (my parents slept in separate rooms). He sat me on his lap and told me the following: “Teri, I’ve been seeing a doctor. A counselor. And I now realize I never should have hit you. I’m sorry. I promise to never hit you again. From now on you get to decide your discipline.” There was more, but that’s all I can remember.

And he never hit me again. My first lesson in forgiveness. And what a beautifully powerful one it was.

You see, my dad was also my saving grace. He was the one who took us to Burger Chef for a Fun Meal after our soccer games on Saturday mornings. Mom was at work and rarely came to our games. Dad tucked us in with stories of dragons and spaceships and talking dogs. He was the one who taught me how to count with raisins. And sat me on his lap when he would draw. He ran alongside my purple bike with the flowered banana seat as I wobbled around the school playground until he felt safe enough to let go, cheering me on with an exuberant, “You’re doing it!”

He was a good dad. Who was hurt as a child and didn’t know the impact of his violent actions on his own children until someone came along to show him the error of his ways. I thank God he had the compassion to listen. And apologize.

My dad died in January, 2009, of complications resulting from his diabetes.

This morning I went for my morning hike and said, “Dad, you should join me” (he loved his ‘exercise walks’ as he called them). I truly believe his spirit tagged along.

I was walking along a path strewn with hundreds of leaves when I sensed an excited energy urging me to “look down!” Sure enough. There in that mix of decaying brown, yellow, red, and orange tints was a tiny heart.

This continued throughout my hike. I would smile and send out an “I see it! Thanks!”

As I was headed to my car, the last of the sun on a blue-sky morning, now turning grey, was peering through a yellow-leafed tree. I felt a “Look up!” energy. I did and couldn’t help but laugh. There it was 💛

#thanksDad

November 2018 Monthly Book Launch Update

From my Unicorn Shadows Book Launch Team Facebook page:

My Unicorn Shadows: From Trauma to Triumph – A Healing Guide book is in manuscript form, awaiting completion then editing. It will head off to agent/publisher contacts afterward. My focus is now turned to completing it by month end. Yay!

I launched my e-book, Stop Thinking . . . Just Love this week. A book dedicated to my Dad, Jim Kamphaus, who left this world in January, 2009, and sent me a message through a friend after he had died. That message was, “Tell Teri to stop thinking and just love.” Soon afterward I started to find hearts, symbols of love, everywhere. Every day. This book is filled with over 600 heart photos, some taken by me and some gifted to me by others, and inspirational stories and quotes. My wish is that people find hope within its pages. I told my son, John (who is a numbers geek like his momma), to randomly pick a number between 1-131 each day and see what page offers inspiration for that day!

Dad & me circa 1979

The Healing Place Podcast continues to grow. And what an amazing collection of guests I have had on air over the past few weeks. I am excited for the latest interviews to air. I have started recording the video as well as audio and have added the first video to YouTube. I will be adding more this coming week. You can check out the first vlog of The Healing Place Podcast below. There have been over 2,000 downloads of the podcasts. Exciting!

My Hope for Healing monthly newsletter continues to gain subscribers, as well. Thank you to all who have signed up. If you know anyone looking for a guiding resource for anxiety, panic attacks, depression, trauma history, or just a need for more hope, please send them to my website and tell them to “subscribe” using the pop-up or the subscribe button in the upper right corner, at www.teriwellbrock.com. Thanks!

Sammie Doodle, our registered therapy dog through Pet Partners, will be working one day a week at a local elementary school in a therapy dog role, helping children with anxiety needs. We are so very proud of Sammie! We will be delivering our Sammie’s Bundles of Hope to shelters throughout the Cincinnati area for kids with trauma-history, prior to Thanksgiving. If you are aware of a need, please reach out to me via info@teriwellbrock.com so we can add it to our list. Thank you!

My blog is growing a following, too! I have been sharing my blog posts on ACEs Connection, as well. If you would like to follow along, please join me at www.unicornshadows.com.

Whew! That sounds like a lot. And, while it is, I love every second of it. It doesn’t feel like work when it’s a passion, a calling, a soul-pull.

Until next month, I wish you peace and joy! For those of you stateside, have a blessed Thanksgiving, surrounded by love and laughter.

P.S. If you’d like to order a copy of my e-book (at the cost of a fast food meal deal!), please do so using the link below. And share, share, share away. Please and thank you!

Stop Thinking . . . Just Love

Podcast Episode 45: Julie Brand – A Wise Retreat

Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I’m your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/
I was thrilled to engage in a beautiful conversation with Julie Brand – founder and executive director of A WISE Retreat program for women. Julie is an addiction specialist, domestic violence counselor, youth educator, and trauma-warrior with a personal ACEs score of 9+. Please join us as we discuss Julie’s heart-felt mission to provide a space for holistic healing for her clients.

As shared from A Wise Retreat website:

A Wise Retreat specializes in the holistic restoration of women. Our services are tailored to the unique needs of each individual at a comfortable, private, and culturally sensitive location where women can get the care and treatment needed. Our services include but are not limited to;

  • Dual Diagnosis Treatment
  • Addictions counseling
  • Domestic Violence Counseling
  • Trauma Informed Care
  • Family Treatment
  • Bio Chemical Re-balancing
  • Intensive Out Patient
  • After Care

A Wise Retreat is a private drug & alcohol residential treatment facility exclusively for women. Located 30 miles North of beautiful San Francisco, A Wise Retreat sits on a hillside surrounded by luscious tall trees that provide shade, privacy, peace and serenity in a home-like setting.

Women Inspired, Supported & Empowered!

Please be sure to follow, visit, and reach out at http://www.awiseretreat.com/ or call 855-500-WISE (9473).

Also, check out Julie’s book series In the Eyes of Innocence on Smashwords!

Peace to you all!
Teri