Thirty Tranquil Ponderings for a Murdered Girl

Thirty years ago today. Wow. That just dawned on me as I sat poolside, journaling today’s ponderings. May 23, 1988. A day I thought would forever be burned upon my soul. Branded by a cruel and searing experience.

As I turn my head to the left, sitting in my writing space, I glance upon a file folder holding newspaper articles, court documents, and everything cold and factual about that day.

I feel the tingles of a presence beside me. The spirit of a girl whose earth-life was stolen. Marsha Burger, age twenty-eight, engaged to be married, my new after-work bowling league teammate . . . shot with a gun that had been held to my head only three months prior on February 19, 1988 in a previous bank robbery. Our lives forever entangled in the cold steel of the revolver and the thick, callous fingers of a thief.

Video: Raw News Coverage May 23, 1988 

I find myself joyous in the fact that it took me until 4:00 p.m. to realize the significance of this date. I used to dread the anniversary’s approach for years, decades really. A reminder of all of my broken pieces showcased on displays labeled “Panic Attacks” and “Overwhelming Anxiety”.  

Here I sit, oh-so-serene, thirty years after running terrified from the gun shots, staring down the barrel of a Luger semi-automatic weapon, as I froze in fear behind a house in the neighborhood just beyond the bank. I am calm. I have made my peace with the ghosts.

Today, in honor of you and your thirty years transitioned to another life, Marsha Burger, I share thirty tranquil thoughts:

1. There is peace in the stillness where there used to be overwhelming fear.

2. There is freedom in forgiveness.

3. There is clarity in the space between thoughts. 

4. Each breath in is a gift, each breath out brings more relief.

5. God sends love via nature hearts.

Do you see the heart?

6. There is comfort in  musical melodies

7. Being surrounded by angels, both real and through treasured collection of paintings, figurines, and calendars brings contentment. 

8. Life is celebrated through laughter.

9. Prayer is meditative.

10. Writing heals the soul.

11. Friendship is a gift of spirit connections. 

12. Cardinals visit to share messages from beyond this world.

13. Carrying a child’s heartbeat is a treasure beyond measure.

14. Trinkets of hope bring joy to others.

15. Unicorns are real . . . well, at least their shadows are!

Unicorn Shadows

16. Being a glitter-shitter is a great #lifegoal.

17. Magic is experienced in helping others.

18. Smiling instills calmness. 

19. Hiking is good for the body, mind, and soul.

20. Creative outlets release negative stored energy. 

21. We are all our own heroes. 

22. Self-care is a necessary component of healing.

23. Hugs are therapeutic . . . so are dogs.

24. Positivity radiates from within. 

25. Sharing stories of triumph offers hope. 

26. Resilience stems from having a supportive hand to hold.

27. Photos capture essence. 

28. Kindness equates the greatest wealth of all.

29. Love truly IS the answer.

30. . . . and finally . . . God is love.

 

Peace to you. Peace to us all.

 

Weekly Update – Book Proposal

Weekly update!

This week has been fairly quiet on the book-front. The completed proposal is in my editor’s hands. She will have it back to me by the first week of February. Then I can edit away!

As for the book itself . . . I am so excited to have an outline to work with and a plan for it. Finally. As I’ve told so many, I’ve been writing this book for years. In, what feels like, circles. Always coming back to “what is it I am really trying to say?” I knew in my heart and soul I didn’t want it to be a “woe is me” story all about my trauma. I wanted it to be about hope and healing and the journey toward joy, yet knowing the trauma has to be a part of it.

There is a connection that happens between our souls when we have those “me, too” moments. The haunting beauty of my story is that it paints with a broad trauma brush, touching different people in different ways . . . yet, the vast majority of those folks are striving to live a more joyous, peaceful and purposeful existence. And many are stuck. Not knowing quite how to do move forward.

This is my tale from trauma to triumph, the “how to” for getting oneself unstuck from the muck.

* * * * *

Tomorrow, I have a meeting to discuss the website development. Excited to move forward with that, as well! Wish me luck.

* * * * *

A beautiful and incredibly talented friend painted this unicorn shadow for me. It hangs next to my desk in my writing space. I smile at it every day.

 

Goals and Self-Care

Facebook post from January 3, 2017:

 

Goals for 2017 include continued self-care, cultivating peace in my life, experiencing continued connectedness. This morning before heading off to work, I took some “T” time.

I’m currently reading 13 different books but my favorite is “The Gifts of Imperfection”. If you’re looking for an amazing read, pick this book up.

I also wrote in a Gratitude journal, with today’s instructed subject: “To learn from our enemies is the best way to loving them: for it makes us grateful to them” . . . not that I have “enemies”, per se, but a difficult subject to write about in a grateful way, nonetheless.

Finally, I took a few minutes to mindfully color. Just breathe and settle into my day.

Take care of yourself in some way today. Whether big or small. You are so very worth it ?

I wish you a life filled with an abundance of joy, tranquility, laughter and love.

Peace,

Teri

#traumainformedcare #hopeforhealing #hope #healing #unicornshadows