Caroline Rose is a three-time, stage 4, incurable cancer thriver. After being told there was no hope, Caroline overcame all odds and beat her cancer three different times. She underwent two bone marrow transplants and countless rounds of chemo- but she emerged on the other side stronger and happier than ever before.
I love the idea of Axl, the pug, snoring along as I was captured by Caroline Rose’s story of hope. So very grateful for the opportunity to share her inspirational journey with all of you. Please join us as we discuss:
Caroline’s story of 3-time, stage 4, incurable cancer survival, including 2 bone marrow transplants
her mission in sharing her story of hope
tips for offering love and support for others when they are diagnosed with an illness
her “hits of hope”
the powerful story of Riley Rose
and so much more!
Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I am your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on Pandora, iTunes, Blubrry, Spotify, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, Podbean, and more, or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/. You can also watch our insightful interview on YouTube.
Bio:
“Caroline Rose is a three-time, stage 4, incurable cancer thriver. After being told there was no hope, Caroline overcame all odds and beat her cancer three different times. She underwent two bone marrow transplants and countless rounds of chemo- but she emerged on the other side stronger and happier than ever before. Today, she spends her time with her husband and two miracle children. Caroline is a massive dog lover and rescue animal activist. She believes in the healing power of animals and the essential importance of always, always holding on to hope. “website: www.DearRileyRose.comemail: caroline@dearrileyrose.com
A shout out of gratitude to Samantha Wettje, co-founder of the 16 Strong Project and an adolescent mental well-being advocate, as she joins me to discuss her passion in regards to:
the 16 Strong Project: the mission, the programs, and the meaning of the name
her personal story of resilience and triumph
Every Voice Heard initiative
youth empowerment and resilience-building programs
and so much more!
Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I am your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on Pandora, iTunes, Blubrry, Spotify, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, Podbean, and more, or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/. You can also watch our insightful interview on YouTube.
Bio:
“Samantha is the co-founder of the 16 Strong Project and an adolescent mental well-being advocate. She created the 16 Strong Project in 2017 in response to what she experienced as a young person, living with a mentally ill and addicted parent, struggling to find answers and understand what was happening in her life. It wasn’t until she finished college, and shared her story with many of her friends, that she realized that she was not the only one, and that what happened to her mattered. So many times people do not realize they are not alone or that what they are experiencing has a name. Determined to ensure that the next generation of youth is equipped to handle their adversity, and not suffer in silence, Samantha created a program to empower resilience to adverse childhood experiences, because she believes what happens to all of us matters.
Samantha has an Ed.M. in Human Development and Psychology from Harvard University and a B.S.in Financial Economics from Binghamton University. In addition to her work with the 16 Strong Project, Samantha is actively involved with the Harvard Graduate School of Education’s EASEL Lab for social-emotional learning, Harvard’s Making Caring Common Project and Journey into Education and Teaching (JET), a non-profit aiming to increase teacher diversity in Massachusetts.
Samantha is an avid traveler, exercise enthusiast, sports junkie, loves diners, music, reading, ice cream, her cat Boots, and most of all, the New York Mets.”
What a joy to sit down with Brett Loftis, CEO of Crossnore School and Children’s Home, and Founder of The Center for Trauma Resilient Communities, as we engaged in a compelling conversation about:
Crossnore School and Children’s Home
The Center for Trauma Resilient Communities
the impact of animals on healing
the science of resilience
the positive outcomes due to one caring adult
building trauma resilient organizations, communities, and cultures
supporting healers
adventure based counseling and other therapy modalities
mindfulness for children and helpers
Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I am your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on Pandora, iTunes, Blubrry, Spotify, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Podbean, and more, or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/. You can also watch our insightful interview on YouTube.
Bio:
Brett A. Loftis, JD Chief Executive Officer, Crossnore School & Children’s Home Founder and Faculty Member, Center for Trauma Resilient Communities bloftis@crossnore.org
“Brett Loftis has a passion for protecting the most vulnerable children that is apparent from the moment he says hello. As the Chief Executive Officer of Crossnore School & Children’s Home, Brett leads an organization that is dedicated to growing healthy futures for children and families. His experience working in a residential program for at-risk children and as a Guardian ad litem in South Carolina, a youth minister in Texas, and as an attorney and the Executive Director of the Council for Children’s Rights in Charlotte, NC positioned him well to assume the executive role at Crossnore in 2013.
Under Brett’s leadership, Crossnore effectively completed their Second Century campaign surpassing their goal to build the organization’s endowment fund, built a new high school building at Williams Academy which opened in 2015, and constructed three new cottages on the Avery campus which opened in 2016. His executive leadership and strategic planning with the Board of Trustees led Crossnore to a successful merger with The Children’s Home in Winston-Salem, NC to become Crossnore School & Children’s Home in 2017. Services are expanding to underserved counties in western North Carolina through a satellite office opened in Hendersonville, NC in early 2018. He co-founded the Center for Trauma Resilient Communities, a program of Crossnore School & Children’s Home, in 2018.
Brett received his undergraduate degrees in Sociology and Political Science from Furman University. His passion for children eventually sent him to Wake Forest University School of Law to continue his career in child advocacy. He serves on numerous statewide committees and boards of directors, and he speaks statewide and nationally about children’s issues. Brett has completed the Train the Trainer program with David McCorkle from the Sanctuary Institute and helps to lead a team of 42 Sanctuary trainers on Crossnore’s campuses.
Brett and his family live on the Avery county campus of Crossnore School & Children’s Home and in his free time, he loves to coach youth soccer and basketball. Brett’s greatest love is his wife, Sally, and their three sons, Will, Elijah, and Lawson.”
I very much appreciated the opportunity to chat with Dr. Kristina Brinkerhoff, Educational Consultant, to discuss such topics as:
adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)
classroom management and teacher self-care
her personal story of triumph over trauma and the impact of her trauma history on her mission today
her role as an educator, principal, superintendent, adoptive mother of five foster children, and now as an ACEs advocate and consultant in the education arena
resilience
and more!
Welcome to The Healing Place Podcast! I am your host, Teri Wellbrock. You can listen in on iTunes, Blubrry, Spotify, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Podbean, and more, or directly on my website at www.teriwellbrock.com/podcasts/. You can also watch our insightful interview on YouTube.
Bio:
“Dr. Kristina Brinkerhoff, a consultant, keynote speaker, presenter and trainer, leverages over 20 years of experience as a teacher, principal, superintendent and adoptive mom of five foster children, to help educators gain an understanding of the effects Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), and the importance of trauma informed practice in schools. Her work focuses on the direct impact ACEs have on a child’s ability to self-regulate and successfully function in the classroom and school setting, and what schools can do to help students build self-regulation skills and resilience strategies. Participants will gain an understanding of specific strategies designed to help school educators navigate how to address the impact of ACEs, recognize student needs, establish caring and responsive trauma informed classroom and school expectations, and respond to difficult behaviors with compassion and self-control.”
What Participants Are Saying!!
“Really great info, one of the best PD sessions I’ve ever attended!”
“The presentation and materials were excellent!”
“This was the best session I have ever attended!”
“Love your personal connections !”
“Thank you for getting the mind thinking!”
“Thank you, this was an awesome use of my time!”
“Great charisma as a presenter!”
“It was awesome, thanks for everything!”
“Excellent. I wish I knew this at the beginning of my career and know now as I am at retirement.”
“Mrs. Brinkerhoff is confident, poised, and well-versed when it comes to delivering ACE strategy training to teaching/educational staff. She is able to build quick rapport with the staff which then allows her to work directly with them when faced with a challenging scenario.” Valerie Uhlorn, Principal Amity Elementary
“Dr. Brinkerhoff presented to our K-5 administrative group about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE). I was so impressed with her presentation that I asked if she would be willing to come and speak with my staff before the school year had started. This was an area, that my staff was not super familiar with and I felt that bringing her in as an outside source would give a different perspective. She spent half the day with us and really spoke to the depths of childhood trauma and the disruption to the learning environment. The understanding that my staff had after her presentation allowed us to start our year off with compassion and patience for those kids in need. She has the experience and the gift to present with influence and impact for our educators. ” Tony Bonucelli, Principal, Moscow Charter School
“Dr. Brinkerhoff connected her research to personal stories from her days teaching and being an Elementary Principal. Her on-the-ground experience, warm personality, and sense of humor allowed her to relate well to her audience of over 100 administrators. In my eight years of attending the IASA annual conference, Dr. Brinkerhoff was by far the best keynote speaker we have had at the final IAESP session. In fact, once she was finished, a fellow administrator immediately booked her to present at a fall back-to-school training for their charter school staff. ” Dr. Kendra McMillan, Ph.D, Lena Wittmoore Elementary
When interviewing a recent podcast guest, the subject of everyday heroes in a child’s life came up. And their powerful impact of helping build resilience in the lives of vulnerable children.
I had 4. My Grandma Kitty. My 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Corken. And my BFF’s parents, Mr. & Mrs. Tonnies.
Today I want to share a story about that teacher. I don’t remember her classroom. Or what she taught me in that classroom. But I do remember her caring about me, asking if I was okay when I would cry in school, holding my hand when we would walk the halls, and inviting me to sit on the front porch of her little white house on Wayside Avenue.
I would walk the 3 blocks, crossing a busy road (in the same crosswalk where I saw a girl get hit by a car and killed a few years later when I was 10 . . . golly, 10 was a rough year!), just to spend time with this gentle soul.
I can’t remember her face. But I remember her heart.
She gave me this ceramic Holly Hobbie heart as a gift. I can’t recall why. My birthday maybe?
It reads “Happiness is having someone to care for”.
She told me to keep my treasures in it. For years it held a hand-written note from her and a key to a small cedar box I kept other notes in. To this day I treasure hand-written notes.
My dad threw something at me in a fit of rage soon after I received my gift. I ducked and it missed me, but shattered my heart. The ceramic one. And in some ways my own.
I cried silently as I glued the pieces back together. Somehow the top piece remained intact. I think it landed on my pillow.
I pulled this out of my memory box today after being reminded of Mrs. Corken during my podcast conversation. So incredibly symbolic of my life.
Jaz told me during our interview that survivors are like Kintsugi bowls . . . their breaks are repaired with gold so the scars make them beautiful. I read upon researching Kintsugi that “your scars and imperfections are your beauty”.
My little ceramic heart, glued back together, yet missing a piece I never found after that violent outburst, represents the beauty of my healing journey. Broken, then mended. Scarred, yet beautiful.
Before diving into step 8, a reminder about resilience: it is defined as the ability to overcome adverse conditions; with healthy bonding relationships, guidance, support, and compassion as the catalysts. Basically, it entails having the capacity to bounce back from stressful or overwhelming experiences.
What are some steps we can take to ensure we are building resilience in our lives?
Focus on the positives.
Seek out and nurture supportive relationships.
Utilize self-care strategies.
Take action steps to create positive change.
Work on healthy habit formation.
Find a guiding hand to hold.
Learn to become our own hero.
Be gentle with ourselves.
Today we will cover Step 8: Be gentle with ourselves.
I had two moments when I first transitioned onto a healing path that stand out as life-altering. My therapist at the time had mentioned to me, “Just notice” during one of our sessions, in the midst of a pretty intense flashback when panic attack symptoms were overwhelming me. Allowing myself the opportunity to just notice those sensations without judgment created an incredible shift in their power over me.
The other shift-inducing incident involved a friend suggesting to me, “Be gentle with yourself, T.” It was one of those smack-to-the-head moments. Be gentle with myself? What the heck does THAT mean? How do I even do that? I realized in that brief exchange that I had been so incredibly hard on myself about my trauma history and attempts at recovery.
I want to share with you a few of the steps I took to learn a more patient and loving approach with myself:
Forgive yourself: If you are holding onto any blame, shame, guilt, or a burden of responsibility for anything that happened to you . . . give yourself the gift of forgiveness. Write yourself a love letter releasing you from that weight. For decades, I carried a self-blame banner when it came to certain incidents in my life. If I hadn’t been drinking so much then I wouldn’t have put myself in that vulnerable position to be taken advantage of by a man. If I had just told my parents what was happening. If I hadn’t been so needy. I stopped all of that blame and shame talk. Remind yourself that you were not to blame. Know this on a soul level. And forgive yourself for burdening you with that heavy load. You are so very worthy of the resulting peace.
Practice being gentle with yourself: I started to utilize the idea of being gentle with myself throughout my day. If I noticed any negative self-talk, such as, Why can’t you just get over this, I would remind myself, Something is surfacing, Teri. Just notice is. What is being triggered? I then would meditate or journal about it, but continuing to not judge any of it. Just gentle observation.
Give yourself the gift of self-love: Sounds simple enough, but, wow, can this be tough. Especially for those of us who experienced adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). Practice positive affirmations by repeating mantras such as, “I am calm. I am beautiful. I am peace. I am loved.” The gift of time is a precious self-love commodity, too. Allow time to pursue your passions – whether that’s a stroll in nature, absorbing the beauty, or creating art or taking a new yoga class.
Be patient: As you continue traveling along this healing journey, there are days when you’ll be baby-stepping along oh-so-carefully, other days where you will be leaping into new discoveries, and others when you turn around and retreat. That’s okay. Again, this is a journey, an exploration into sometimes scary territory. Gently remind yourself you’ve got this. Continue to ask, every day, What is the lesson I am learning with this? You are allowed the opportunity to learn in those set-back moments.
Reward yourself: I recently visited a classroom with my registered therapy dog, Sammie. We met with forty-two 4th grade kiddos. One of the questions asked during our Q&A session was, “How did you train Sammie?” I took this opportunity to discuss positive reinforcement. Sammie learned her needed therapy dog skills through classroom instruction along with positive reinforcement outside the classroom. Lots of “good girl, Sam!” and treats. The same goes for us as we learn to live a life free from trauma burdens. A “Way to go!” or “You got this!” goes a long way toward building our confidence.
Coming up next month: New series – Positivities of Persistence
Before diving into step 7, a reminder about resilience: it is defined as the ability to overcome adverse conditions; with healthy bonding relationships, guidance, support, and compassion as the catalysts. Basically, it entails having the capacity to bounce back from stressful or overwhelming experiences.
What are some steps we can take to ensure we are building resilience in our lives?
Focus on the positives.
Seek out and nurture supportive relationships.
Utilize self-care strategies.
Take action steps to create positive change.
Work on healthy habit formation.
Find a guiding hand to hold.
Learn to become our own hero.
Be gentle with ourselves.
Today we will cover Step 7: Learn to become our own hero.
One of those ah-ha moments in my life came when I realized that it was not up to anyone else to “save” me. Instead, I started to look to myself for empowerment. I experienced what I call “a shift” in 2013. Think of it as a change in philosophy, a willingness to open myself up to healing and answers. I allowed myself the gift of becoming my own hero. We all have the capacity for becoming our own superhero; we just need to open our hearts, minds, and souls to the possibility.
So, how did I learn to become my own hero? A whole helluva lot of research . . . along with some trial and error. The sole purpose of my Unicorn Shadows: From Trauma to Triumph – A Healing Guide book that I am finishing up the manuscript on is to guide others through the research I completed and allow readers an opportunity to engage in the steps I utilized.
I will give you a head start here and offer five suggestions for starting your superhero work (go ahead and put that cape on!):
Build your knowledge by reading, watching, listening, and absorbing all you can about healthy self-care strategies: I have a resource library full of books I have read (filled with mark-ups for ideas that spoke to my soul). I will be adding those titles to my website some time over the next few months. I’ll be sure to send you an access code once I do so you can dive into those books and articles. I also have a bookmark folder on my web browser filled with articles and websites that provide healing guidance. I would list them all, but what speaks to MY soul might not speak to YOURS. Therefore, I recommend you search for self-help topics that pique your interest. Do searches on your local library site (did you know you can check out books online, too?), Amazon, YouTube, Vimeo, web browsers, by key words, Pinterest, Facebook – the options are endless.
Be open to crazy awesome options for healing: When I started opening my mind up to new possibilities for healing my trauma wounds and relieving the resulting symptoms, miracles started to happen. No, seriously. For real. I started practicing exercises such as Ho’oponopono Hawaiian healing technique, the Ah Meditation, energy healing, and so much more. Next on my list is goat yoga! Watch my beautiful podcast interview with Belinda Farrell of Huna Healing for more information on Ho’oponopono.
Choose one and try it: This seems pretty self-evident, but how many times have we made grandiose plans, done the research, but then stopped right there. It’s scary sometimes to try something new. Right? But, the best way to learn if something will help you feel more empowered is to simply DO it. Give it a whirl. Maybe a few whirls. If it works . . . yay! You can add that patch to your superhero cape. If not, see the next suggestion.
If it does not work, file it away, see it as a learning lesson, and move on to the next idea: This can be tough, too. We feel like we are giving up. Or maybe questioning, “Why does this work for other people, but not me?” Please know that we are all different with an eclectic mix of backgrounds. What works for one person might not work for us because of genetics or experiences (such as adverse childhood experiences or ACEs) or a combination of factors. Regardless, it’s okay. Put it in the “life lesson” file folder and move on to another superhero adventure.
Build your superhero portfolio to use as needed: Once you have established a collection of tools . . . think of Batman’s utility belt . . . you will feel more empowered just by having more choices from which to turn to for your self-care strategies. But, keep on adding options as you grow stronger. Get yourself ready for your superhero strut. Watch out, world. Another bad-ass trauma-warrior is in the making.
Coming up next month: Step 8: Be gentle with ourselves.
*Excerpt from my upcoming Hope for Healing Newsletter . . . I would love to welcome you onto the Hope for Healing team! Join me here!
Before diving into step 6, a reminder about resilience: it is defined as the ability to overcome adverse conditions; with healthy bonding relationships, guidance, support, and compassion as the catalysts. Basically, it entails having the capacity to bounce back from stressful or overwhelming experiences.
What are some steps we can take to ensure we are building resilience in our lives?
Focus on the positives.
Seek out and nurture supportive relationships.
Utilize self-care strategies.
Take action steps to create positive change.
Work on healthy habit formation.
Find a guiding hand to hold.
Learn to become our own hero.
Be gentle with ourselves.
Today we will cover Step 6: Find a guiding hand to hold.
I have been interviewing amazing guest after amazing guest on The Healing Place Podcast over these past few months. Insightful souls who offer coaching services, have created online courses, written books, host podcasts, offer presentations, run retreats, and so much more! All with the intent of helping others along their healing journey. I am in love with the idea of utilizing our own healing experiences to help those who are looking for guidance and a comforting hand to hold. I know when I was in despair, I was flailing in my efforts to find answers.
Finding both of my therapists (yes, I was seeing two at the same time at one point – one for talk therapy and another for EMDR therapy and trauma-processing work) was life-altering. I felt a sense of calm just knowing I had guidance as I started taking those first steps onto the healing path. However, I also started to reach out to coaches and non-traditional therapy professionals, as well. I attended a class on the Hawaiian healing technique, Ho’oponopono; had an EFT (emotional freedom technique) healing session conducted on two occasions in my home; started practicing yoga with a trained professional who had an understanding of trauma storage in the body; and other similar self-care strategies. Finding what works for YOU is the key to creating a plan and building your coping tool box.
Here are five suggestions for finding a guiding “hand to hold”:
Listen to podcasts or watch YouTube videos related to your needs: I am a researcher by nature. My favorite question as a child, according to my parents, was, “Why?” Understanding your habits, fears, concerns, solutions, and just having a feeling of connection through the power of “Oh my gosh, me, too!”, can empower your healing quest. The trick is to search for key words (try typing the following in a Google search ACEs, EFT tapping, or Yoga YouTube . . . I personally LOVE Yoga with Adrienne!) *Hint* My podcast has over 50 episodes filled with motivation, inspiration, and healing light and can be listened to at your convenience simply by visiting my website and scrolling to the bottom of the podcast page. If you have Bluetooth capabilities in your car, hit play and listen in while you drive!
Find an online course, webinar or summit: Some are free, some are free for a limited time and then available to purchase an access pass, some are fee-based and costs vary from minimal to what some may consider to be expensive. I know I recently watched a webinar and the presenter then offered me a package deal at the end for only two payments of $4,998.00. After I finished choking on my coffee, I exited out of the program a little wiser on my need to research before devoting an hour of my precious time. Make sure to review ratings and create a bookmark folder for yourself. I have folders labeled, “research”, “blogs”, “podcasts”, and so on. Some are geared toward professionals and others toward those seeking assistance. For example, an “addictions webinar” search will bring up both professional and personal webinar options.
Hire a therapist: This one can be tricky only because there are factors to consider such as insurance coverage, type of therapy, available providers in your area, and so on. Do not let it inhibit you, however. I promise you, the effort you put in to finding the right therapist will be worth it. I had searched for an EMDR therapist when my counselor first suggested I consider EMDR as a trauma-processing option and found someone close to home (I was experiencing pretty severe driving anxiety at that time). I did no further research before scheduling the appointment. And, wow, was THAT a lesson learned. He told me I was “cured” after three sessions and then advised me that the reason I had highway phobias was because “cars are big and scary”. Oh boy. Yes, I reported him. Yes, I stopped seeing him immediately. Then I searched again, researched the woman I found who most appealed to my needs, and promised myself I could drive the forty minutes to her office as I was so very worthy of the effort. Ninety-eight sessions and four years later, I was a new woman. It was truly a life-altering process and I am forever grateful to Dr. Barb Hensley of Cincinnati Trauma Connection. Find someone who specializes in your needs (if having someone who is LGBTQ sensitive is important, then specify that in your search, and/or perhaps you would feel more comfortable with a specific gender, or you would like to consider a therapy with minimal talking such as an art therapy modality). Again. . . do YOU and what works for your needs.
Secure a life-coach: This can also seem a daunting task. There are coaches for weight loss, general motivation (think Tony Robbins), relationship coaches, stress and mental health, career coaching, online coaching, Facebook coaching groups, coaches you can call or video-chat with weekly, and on and on. Many of my podcast guests offer coaching services. The key, again, is finding what works for you. Assess your needs and then research. Are you looking for someone who specializes in toxic relationships? Or maybe co-dependency? Perhaps you really want a guiding hand when it comes to emotional eating. Do you need time-management help? A goal of mine is to create a coaching plan for healing through the power of forgiveness. I look forward to creating a course and/or coaching plan in 2019!
Utilize the power of friendship and soul connections: I treasure those go-to peeps in my life that I can call at any time to cry, laugh, wallow, or celebrate. Whether it’s my sister or a close friend, my mom or my son who lives five states away, there is solace in connecting. As I discussed in my August, 2018 Hope for Healing Newsletter, make an effort to connect with others with similar interests and you will start to grow your support network. As I’ve stressed previously, however, be sure to reach for those who lift you up with positivity, avoiding (if not eliminating) those toxic relationships and the energy-vampires who will hinder your healing progress.
Coming up next month: Step 7: Learn to become your own hero.
Before diving into step 5, a reminder about resilience: it is defined as the ability to overcome adverse conditions; with healthy bonding relationships, guidance, support, and compassion as the catalysts. Basically, it entails having the capacity to bounce back from stressful or overwhelming experiences.
What are some steps we can take to ensure we are building resilience in our lives?
Focus on the positives.
Seek out and nurture supportive relationships.
Utilize self-care strategies.
Take action steps to create positive change.
Work on healthy habit formation.
Find a guiding hand to hold.
Learn to become our own hero.
Be gentle with ourselves.
Today we will cover Step 5: Work on healthy habit formation.
Being an avid reader, particularly of self-help and trauma-related research books, I discovered the critical importance of habit change as a catalyst along my healing journey. One of the books that I talk about in my presentations is Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New OnebyDr. Joe Dispenza. This book helped me understand that my brain was not hard-wired in a permanently damaged state due to circumstances beyond my control (i.e. traumatic events) and I had the power to change my habits, thereby creating new neuron pathways. I also practiced the book meditations regularly as a transformational tool.
Another book worth diving into is The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg. One of the powerful lessons in this book, at least for me, was learning to replace “bad” habits with “good” ones. For instance, instead of merely telling myself “Teri, you need to stop eating junk food,” I instead took on a 30-day journey of whole food eating, creating a food diary, and teaching myself new recipes. I created incredibly healthy eating habits by educating myself on the benefits of healthy food choices. Transforming our habits is a powerful tool we can utilize as we continue along our healing journey.
Here are five action steps you can implement in your life in order to create positive change:
Start with a self-assessment: This can be done through journaling, a personality test (I found the information contained in The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types to be spot on in describing my “type” and helping me understand my strengths and areas where I needed improvement), talking it out with a trusted friend, prayerful reflection, etc. Use whatever feels comfortable for you in order for you to determine what healthy habit (habits) you want to create. Then write down your goal.
Create an action plan for replacing unwanted habits with desirable habits (or creating altogether new habits): Take that written goal and create a plan, filled with achievable steps, ideas, research information, and rewards. Instead of “lose weight” try “create a healthy menu, adding one whole food meal a day, eliminating any processed products during that particular meal; pack a bag of healthy snacks to carry with me at all times including fruits, vegetables, and nuts; limit fast food to once a week (or not at all!); move for thirty minutes every day in whatever way I choose in order to increase my heart rate, blood flow, and create a sense of well-being and achievement; watch YouTube videos on easy-to-make healthy recipes; read up on whole-food eating benefits; and reward myself for a month of healthy eating patterns with dinner at my favorite restaurant.”
Be gentle with yourself as you change old patterns: If you accomplish your goal without a single stumble, kudos to you! I applaud you and your determination. If, however, you experience a set-back or even give up all together your first (or second or third) attempt, please be easy on you. There’s an ancient saying that goes something like, “Old habits die hard.” Yeah, #truth. Give yourself a big hug, a pep talk, and then start again. You are creating a new habit where an old one has kept shop for a long time, most likely. If your new goal is, “Eliminate negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations,” but you find yourself beating yourself up on a bad day, praise yourself for now being aware of it and making an effort to change it. Then write yourself a thank you card, filled with positive affirmations, and maybe even mail it to yourself as a “surprise”.
Sing your own praises: Continuing with that thought from the previous step, yes, it’s okay to applaud your accomplishments and even your attempts, whether you failed or succeeded. Put a post out on social media when you’ve had a successful day with your new healthy habit formation and embrace the accolades from friends and family. You deserve the praise! Join a group and share your successes and your fall-on-your-face moments. By exposing your vulnerabilities, you will find strength in the connection with others who sing out, “Oh my gosh, me, too!” Notice your mile markers and talk about them: “Hey, it’s been a month since I quit drinking soda.” I am cheering you on from here . . . yay!
Reward yourself for goals attained: Make sure you reward yourself. Not just for the end product, but for all of the baby step accomplishments along the way. If you made it to ten exercise classes last month and “being more active” was on your healthy habit formation list, then treat yourself to some new workout clothes/shoes or a rockin’ headband or a new smoothie maker. If you volunteered twice this quarter and felt inspired to do more, then reward yourself by stepping into a leadership role within that organization. Rewards do not always have to be monetary. You deserve the reward of not only achieving your goal, but a special “thank you” to yourself for believing in YOU!
There are books, YouTube videos, mediation series, classes, websites, Facebook pages, and so much more dedicated to habit formation and the benefits of creating healthy and sustaining habits. Find what works for you. We all have that thing that jives with our soul, be it humor or depth or intellectual spirituality or wise-old-owl. Whatever it is that stirs you up, use that! If something doesn’t feel like a fit, move on. This is about YOU and YOUR journey. Do you.
Coming up next month: Step 6: Find a guiding hand to hold.
Join me on the Hope for Healing journey by signing up for my monthly newsletter (just click the “subscribe” button in the upper right corner)! Thanks in advance.
I have a poetic little story to share about this blossom.
Last winter we decided to pull our 2 hibiscus plants into the house. We read they would go dormant and they did. Come spring, after moving them back to the pool deck, they both turned a bit yellow as they re-adjusted, losing most of their leaves. The red one quickly recovered and started blooming like crazy. Sometimes 5 blossoms a day would pop up. Gorgeous!
But this one, the yellow one, not so much. It struggled and eventually dried up. Its branches snapped off in a storm and one tiny sprig remained, sticking out of a huge pot.
Notice the brittle and broken stems . . .
We revamped our walkway and added new pots filled with overflowing flowers. Everything looked amazing. But, there in the corner sat our broken yellow hibiscus, clinging to life with its last remaining stem, which had fallen to its side, laying on the soil. Every time I looked at it, I felt sad, but something kept whispering, “Don’t give up.” So I let it sit.
I continued to water it. It flooded twice during 2 crazy storms and developed a green funk on the soil at one point.
But then I noticed something. Green buds were appearing. As if it wanted oh-so-desperately to bloom again. I started to caress the little buds and send them little, “You can do it!” messages. The branch began growing, sideways, out of the pot. It looked pretty pathetic, but it was trying.
This morning I walked outside and yelled, “It bloomed!” startling my daughter as she finished her breakfast.
Growing sideways . . .
You bloomed!
Gorgeous
Here, my friends, is a symbol in perseverance, resilience, determination and healing. This is my forever sign of hope ?❤#nevergiveup
